THE RAPTURE

I would never offend anyone whose religious beliefs differ from mine. As a point of information, a fringe religious group has designated May 21, 2011, as the date of Jesus' return to Earth. People are selling their homes, forfeiting credit loans, and shopping for nice clothes, I presume.

I grew up in a Catholic household. My mother designated every Saturday of my life as a cleaning day. Although she hired two  domestics to help, one showed me how wine tasted and told me never to drink on a empty stomach, taught me to jitterbug, and smoked in the driveway while my mother napped. The other domestic took care of the babies and cooked.

My Catholic mother's usual Saturday mantra as we rolled out of bed at 7:00 a.m. was, "Jesus or the Kennedys may visit us today. Wouldn't you feel embarrassed if we received them as company in a dirty house? Cleanliness is next to godliness."

My five sisters and I washed walls, cleaned baseboards, mopped wood floors, changed bed linens, washed and hung clothes on the clothesline, folded and put clean clothes away or as we say in Louisiana, "saved" the clothes, as though they were in danger.


We swept sidewalks, washed and dried dishes, lined up missals [prayer books], rosaries, dresses, hats, and shoes for Sunday morning mass, and prayed for deliverance.

Jesus or the Kennedys never arrrived. If they did, they must have skipped our house, but perhaps May 21st, if Jesus does arrive, I hope her house is clean as a whistle. The Kennedys, on the other hand, possibly have more pressing matters on their agenda.

Picture: trucker hat that reads RAPTURE READY.