This time of year is ridiculously hectic. Every year I remind myself that I am going to breathe deeply, pace myself, and not behave like the control freak that I am.
Didnt work. . .
By Thanksgiving Day I planted 100 bulbs and 10 beds of petunias, themed the kitchen and dining room in Harvest decor, decorated the fourteen foot Christmas tree with the help of my grandchildren, put fresh pine garland and red sequined silk poinsettias on all the banisters, around the hearth, and on various other surfaces.
I tripped on the garland as I walked down the stairs but, luckily, I was able to break my fall by grabbing onto the railing.
I adorned the front door with a huge pine wreath with red berries and pine cones and swirled the front door lights in sprigs of blue spruce [which crackles in the fireplace a delight to my grandchildren). Placing ten ltall nutcrackers around my home was a challenge.
Didnt work. . .
By Thanksgiving Day I planted 100 bulbs and 10 beds of petunias, themed the kitchen and dining room in Harvest decor, decorated the fourteen foot Christmas tree with the help of my grandchildren, put fresh pine garland and red sequined silk poinsettias on all the banisters, around the hearth, and on various other surfaces.
I tripped on the garland as I walked down the stairs but, luckily, I was able to break my fall by grabbing onto the railing.
I adorned the front door with a huge pine wreath with red berries and pine cones and swirled the front door lights in sprigs of blue spruce [which crackles in the fireplace a delight to my grandchildren). Placing ten ltall nutcrackers around my home was a challenge.
I decorated the back deck railing with white lights and garland, set the lighted reindeer up the hill in the back yard, planted winter herbs and vegetables in ten horizontal sphagnum moss baskets that hang on the deck railing, and accidentally fell off the ladder when I tried to hang my three Christmas clocks.
My three year old grandson told me that my decorated mailbox looks like reindeer antlers. I stuck huge fresh pine branches around the mailbox. He said the red ribbon looks like Rudolphs nose. I was shocked. I thought it looked like a Southern Living masterpiece!
I drove to five stores to get last minute Christmas and Thanksgiving adornments, created a Thanksgiving menu on Publisher, and slid down the slope in the leaf-strewn front yard as I attempted to stick fake roses around my statue of the Blessed Virgin Mary in my front yard.
Two days before Thanksgiving,I took out all my Harvest china and glassware. I prepared turkey, honey ham, pork loin, Cajun chicken pies, rice dressing, cornbread dressing, yam souffle, corn casserole, green bean almondine, spinach souffle, creamed cauliflower, pecan pie, pumpkin pie, ambrosia, cranberry relish and cranberry glace, and rolls.
My three year old grandson told me that my decorated mailbox looks like reindeer antlers. I stuck huge fresh pine branches around the mailbox. He said the red ribbon looks like Rudolphs nose. I was shocked. I thought it looked like a Southern Living masterpiece!
I drove to five stores to get last minute Christmas and Thanksgiving adornments, created a Thanksgiving menu on Publisher, and slid down the slope in the leaf-strewn front yard as I attempted to stick fake roses around my statue of the Blessed Virgin Mary in my front yard.
Two days before Thanksgiving,I took out all my Harvest china and glassware. I prepared turkey, honey ham, pork loin, Cajun chicken pies, rice dressing, cornbread dressing, yam souffle, corn casserole, green bean almondine, spinach souffle, creamed cauliflower, pecan pie, pumpkin pie, ambrosia, cranberry relish and cranberry glace, and rolls.
Kelly brought strawberry salad and peppermint pie. Nichole made gingerbread martinis for dessert. Then I slipped on the kitchen floor when I spilled the Savignon Blanc I tested as I cooked the turkey.
My daughter is an amazing cook, but every Thanksgiving, I am reminded about the first time she baked. She made muffins; it was a disaster! I bit into a beautiful muffin and thought I tasted macadamia nuts, but it was smushed up COOKED egg whites. I loathe egg whites; I throw up a little in my mouth every time I see cooked egg whites, and she is well aware of that idiosyncrasy of mine.
Her explanation--- the recipe on the box calls for three egg whites. Raw egg whites are clear; cooked egg whites are WHITE. I boiled the eggs, threw away the yolk. I mushed up the cooked whites and added them to the batter. Voila! Muffins! She is ridiculously intelligent, and thats the problem.
My daughter is an amazing cook, but every Thanksgiving, I am reminded about the first time she baked. She made muffins; it was a disaster! I bit into a beautiful muffin and thought I tasted macadamia nuts, but it was smushed up COOKED egg whites. I loathe egg whites; I throw up a little in my mouth every time I see cooked egg whites, and she is well aware of that idiosyncrasy of mine.
Her explanation--- the recipe on the box calls for three egg whites. Raw egg whites are clear; cooked egg whites are WHITE. I boiled the eggs, threw away the yolk. I mushed up the cooked whites and added them to the batter. Voila! Muffins! She is ridiculously intelligent, and thats the problem.
But, the most hilarious and frightening episode occurred Thanksgiving Eve as I drove away from a furniture store that was holding exquisite Chinese lamps for me.
I drove out of the parking spot, started to move down the driving lane when I received a text from my son. I stopped the car, read the text, texted him back, then we texted back and forth for about ten minutes.
I looked up to see a police car facing me, actually about a hairs breath from my front bumper. The policeman looked like Robocop, and he stared daggers into me. I didnt know whether to s--- or go blind.
I realized that I still hadnt paid the speeding ticket I was awarded in Montgomery, Alabama, last month for driving 84 in a 60 MPH. Every time I call the number I listen to a ridiculously long recording, so i just hang up.
Looking through my windshield, I apologized profusely, and used very dramatic, emotional body language to indicate to Robocop that I was definitely at fault.
He waved me on, so I drove around him, and I winked at him. Never hurts to compliment a Robocop.
And then, theres Christmas .
I drove out of the parking spot, started to move down the driving lane when I received a text from my son. I stopped the car, read the text, texted him back, then we texted back and forth for about ten minutes.
I looked up to see a police car facing me, actually about a hairs breath from my front bumper. The policeman looked like Robocop, and he stared daggers into me. I didnt know whether to s--- or go blind.
I realized that I still hadnt paid the speeding ticket I was awarded in Montgomery, Alabama, last month for driving 84 in a 60 MPH. Every time I call the number I listen to a ridiculously long recording, so i just hang up.
Looking through my windshield, I apologized profusely, and used very dramatic, emotional body language to indicate to Robocop that I was definitely at fault.
He waved me on, so I drove around him, and I winked at him. Never hurts to compliment a Robocop.
And then, theres Christmas .
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