Does My Butt Look Big?

Does my butt look big in this?


Ask your boyfriend or husband this question, and they will probably lie, refuse to comment, or leave the room. Ask your mother, and she will tell you the awful truth.


Different rules apply to men with large posteriors. No one cares, especially men. If they get teased by other men, they shake it off or knock the shoes off the accuser.


I say that this issue is a matter of presentation.

• Don't wear skin-tight jeans or Daisy dukes.
• If someone compares your butt to Alabama, chances are that you should cover it up.
• Wear black not red. If your trunk is really big, someone might compare it to Mars, the red planet.
• Do not wear large patterned clothing especially not to an interview.
• Do not wear a fanny pack, no matter how much you hate carrying a handbag. Do you know that women's fanny packs have names? Northface, Camel, Mountain, and Bear, to name a few.
• Don't work as a nude model.

Last year Air France announced that if you have "too much junk in the trunk," you will have to buy two seats, but they will only charge  75% more for the second ticket.

Amazon advertises the book DOES MY BUTT LOOK BIG IN THIS BEER? Supposedly the subject is the nutritional value of certain beers.

Sinbad's Just Family episode shows him in the doghouse because he answers this question incorrectly.

DOES MY BUM LOOK BIG IN THIS AD by Lisa Cox addresses the issue of body image in media. Magazines and commercials use models with sunken eyes who look like waifs. Her advice to women:

• Don't compare yourself with other people.
• Celebrate your individuality.  
• Embrace the things that make you unique. 
• Don't judge yourself by physical features alone.

This question has  been asked by women throughout the ages. That's probably how warfare began.